In case someone doesn't know what I'm talking about, the state of New Jersey has apparently made the collective decision that left turns are bad for your health. So out of their concern for the well being of their fellows they've erected concrete "Jersey barriers" down the center of every major thoroughfare and then provided a place to turn right at some point after the intersection. These are basically cloverleaf offramps from regular surface streets which eventually bring you back to the intersection you just left, but facing the direction you want to go. I'm sure some traffic survey somewhen attributed left turn collisions with causing the greatest number of fatalities, but it's definitely a new challenge to figure out how to navigate in this state.
At any rate, this is Phil:
He sold me this bike:
See all those white streaks on the last photo? Many of you will recognize the phenomenon of rain, but I was born and raised in Los Angeles. Rain doesn't fall from the sky! It's something that gets shot out of high pressure hoses on movie sets. But it turns out you can ride through the stuff--so I did--until it stopped--five minutes after I arrived at my friend Marc's house in South Orange.
Marc is some kind of high muckety-muck for a company that makes TV you can watch without a cable or satellite feed so he wasn't home when I got here. But his wife, his 2 small sons, his sister-in-law, her 4 year old, and the petting zoo (3 big dogs, 2 parrots, 2 rabbits, 1 cat, a cockatiel) were all standing by to greet me, show me to my room, and instruct me how to catch the train into NYC to meet some other friends.
So I got to ride in the rain--again--until I got to the station--where it stopped. This is also where I discovered that New Jersey hates motorcycles as much as it hates left turns. The parking lot designates spots for two vehicles: cars and scooters. Hmmm...Is a motorcycle a scooter? What's the legal definition of a scooter? I called my native guide who informed me that he'd been having that very same discussion with City Hall, and that I'd better find a car spot. I agreed, at which point he wished me luck. I'm pretty certain the sound after that was a chicken being murdered, but since Marc works in an office building I couldn't swear that was what I heard as he hung up the phone.
There were no car spaces.
There were, however, many scooter spaces. Well, it's Jersey, right? FUGGEM!
My mother (who is from Philadelphia) insists that the jug handles are BEFORE the intersections. I disagree, but she's the expert.
ReplyDeleteI also received this from a FOAF and former resident of the Garden State:
New Jersey is "the most highly populated state in the country... the most traffic accidents in the country. aside from atlantic city, the rest of the beaches, and maybe great adventure, theres no reason to actually go there, there's typically only a reason to go thru there.. from nyc to philly, or philly to nyc, driving up or down the east coast.. so they figure, lets fuck with the tourists (as well as our dumb citizens who stand for it) and ticket the fuck out of them for making left hand turns when and where we dont want them to, just to fuck with them... is New Jersey is asshole of the world..."